“Internships are jobs…but you don’t get paid.”

If you haven't already heard or read by now, I've never been employed.

Okay, scratch that.

I've been employed twice, but I've never worked a day in my life.  You may be asking yourself "how does that even work?"  Well, I'll tell you.  Firstly, you get hired at these super sketchy companies (one pushing sales for these "state-of-the-art" knives, the other going door-to-door begging unsuspecting homeowners to sign up to donate a part of their income to reputable charities).  Don't get me wrong, I respect those who actually do that for a living, but you know, it's just not for me.

Though, I have never worked a day in my short life, I will say that I do have an impressive résumé on LinkedIn, with relatively good experience in my field and a research position with a professor at my university.

Despite my pretty good credentials, I've never made any money.

"You know, S, when you actually get a job that makes you money, I'll be very proud."  I would like to quote my father on that.  Gee thanks, dad.

I've had internship after internship, but no money.  But in order to get a job you need experience and I am gaining experience.  So at least I am doing something right.

But hey, at least I signed up for LinkedIn Premium!

(How am I supposed to afford that if I have no money?)